I was raised as a Christian but never really put much stock in it as a child, and as soon as I was old enough to think critically I decided the whole thing was horseshit and the idea that you should treat others as you'd like to be treated is as much moral guidance as anyone really needs. I spent many years after that thinking religion was the root of all evil before I saw enough counterexamples that show that things really aren't that clear cut. Religions being run as businesses and religion forming the basis of national politics / foreign policy are two of the most heinous things I can think of, but on a personal level people can worship whatever the hell they want for all I care.
It all stems from religion, man and I just don't dig it.
But what muddies the water is the enormous
amount of great art and music that either directly or indirectly came from religion.
I'm not an athiest, athiest's want to belive but can't
I have no idea where you got this from. An atheist is someone who doesn't believe in any god, end of story; what they want
has nothing to do with it. So if you don't believe and don't want to believe then you're still an atheist whether you like the term or not.
Don't get me wrong, I don't like the term either. There isn't a special word to apply to me that says I don't believe in dragons or unicorns, so I don't see why I need one for gods. Unfortunately, the word's there now, and that's what it means.
Deism is not a belief, It's more a philosophical theory on God's existence.
Nope, it's a belief. Calling it a theory implies that it comes from observation and can be empirically tested, which it obviously can't. Saying that an intelligent being designed and created the world then cut all ties to it is every bit as much a belief as saying he's been watching us ever since. Unless of course you don't actually believe
it, in which case you are just Making Shit Up.